Our next screening is Sylvester Stallone's Cobra, showing on June 21st.  It's a nonsense trip through the 80's and cop-action-dramas, filled with one liners and (oddly) product placement.  Checkout our events page for more info.  See you there.

We are totally excited that Arnold has signed on to continue the Terminator franchise in the fifth and sixth installments.  Details on the expected release date are still a little unclear, as is what exactly we should expect from Arnold in this next phase of his career. Aging action stars returning to resurrected franchises isn't something we see too often, but it does happen.  Let's start there and see if we can guess how this thing will turn out.

For starters, what kind of comparisons are we talking about?  Schwarzenegger is now 65 years old, returning to the Terminator series 10 years after his last appearance, Terminator 3, was released (2003).  Aging actor, resurrection of a franchise, portraying an action type hero?

Our next screening is in honor of the comeback of 80's cult classic Miami Connection.  It has rock bands, ninjas, kung-fu, drugs, and some crazy acting.  Check out a great review here and get ready to enjoy!

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to the fact that so many of our original RSVPs had to cancel because of the snowstorm, and because we want you all to be able to enjoy this amazingly, amazingly bad movie, Wasted Cinema will be launching a second screening of The Room on Saturday (NOT FRIDAY), Feb 23rd at Legends. Same time, same deal, same bad movie. If you had to miss, or if you want to see again (we understand), come join us on the 23rd!

Winter Storm Nemo is not supposed to turn into heavy snow until later tonight, around 9 pm.  With that in mind, we are still on for hosting our screening of The Room tonight at Legends.  Doors open at 7 pm, and the movie starts at 9 pm.  There are subways just one block away from the bar, so we hope that you can still make it, as long as you can get there safely.

Action Jackson is not really a bad movie.  The acting is fine, the effects are actually pretty good and the story is... not bad, just a bit cliche.  If you have ever seen a movie, and I'm guessing most of you have, then you know this story.  A policeman's unorthodox style is frowned upon by his department.  But when a bad guy appears in town and the police don't know what is going on, Mr. Unorthodox has to take him down without any official support.  BAM, we've got a screenplay, let's get on set and start shooting.  So what puts it in Wasted Cinema territory?  The story-holes.  These are not your typical, how did they get those bags down the elevator or why can Biff travel to the future but Marty can't, plot holes.  These are the un-explained decisions, lines and actions within a scene that can't possibly have happened.  If you like those as much as we do then Action Jackson will tickle your fancy in all the right spots. 

In this movie, Carl Weathers plays policeman Jericho "Action" Jackson and he has been stripped of his gun as a punishment for previously nearly ripping the arm off a sexual predator during his arrest.  The bad guy is Craig T. Nelson, the sexual predator's father, who wants to take total control of the auto manufacturing business.  Black guys and the auto industry in Detroit!  What cliche?!  

So what exactly is so unbelievable about the story's actions you wonder?  How about leaping over a car??  Well never fear, the writers have this one covered.  Jackson did track in high school.  So, you know, that plus his years of police paperwork have prepared him for this kind of stuff.  And my favorite part about this is.  Wait.  Hold on, not my favorite part, but an additional funny part is that Jackson taunts the car driver into trying to kill him with his car instead of his gun because the car is manlier.  What?!  What the heck is the difference between the gun machine and the car machine?  And who is the police chief that sent Jackson out with no gun and no partner?  He is being punished for [nearly] ripping a guy's arm off... like with his hands... not for shooting anybody.  Hello, aren't you kind of forcing him to continue that kind of behavior?  Argh. Where was I?  Oh yeah, so not only does this dumb driver fall for the "you're not so manly" trick, but Action Jackson himself falls for this later!  Seriously who wrote this, you have to make the hero learn from his mistakes not get dumber as the movie goes on, holy proper sequencing Batman.  

Not only does flying over cars happen (by the way, AJ does a flip and sticks the landing.  Obviously.) but so does some other mysteriously magical physics.  Allow me to paint you this picture.  Later in the movie, Coach and his wife are standing together when she gets shot at point blank range.  And the bullet ends up going right through her into a very, very small black hole.  Apparently.  Because she clearly has an exit wound and the bullet does no more damage on the other side.  Is that normal?  Is the time-warp storyline of this movie ever resolved?  Sadly, no.  

So far we've got unbelievable physics and some suspicious character decisions.  But it gets better.  As the climax gets under way, Action Jackson gets captured and needs some rescuing from his newly-discovered side kick.  The entire scene, literally, LITERALLY the entire scene is all one-liners, and they don't even make any sense!  I can't explain this any better than the scene itself, so thank you writers, here is your recreated work.

See?  Literally, every line.  Even "Hello" and "I'm Mr. Ed" are delivered like they have symbolic meaning.  What meaning could that have?  Why would you say "tell me where it hurts" when you are holding a flame thrower?  Even worse, why would you say "chill out?!"  What sense could that possibly make? 

Believe it or not, I actually saved the best for last.  Some of my questions about this film may have been answered.  It all depends on how much of the story is being explained by Jackson's hotel managing ex-boxer friend.  His accent is kind of hard to pin down.  It's like a cross between a lisp and a southern, chain smoking blues singer with head trauma.  See this movie. It's great fun, and then you can be the judge.

We want to give a big thank you to everyone that made it out to our last screening for Santa's Slay!  For those of you that were there, we hope you liked it, and for everyone else we hope you like our review!

If you are looking for a great/awful Christmas movie, then believe or not, you've got options. So what makes Santa's Slay worth checking out?  First off, it's only about 70 minutes long so you're not committing to much, and it's packed with wholesome holiday fun.  While some of the other Santa slashers get a bit horror-y and dark, this movie stays pretty lighthearted with all the Christmastime puns you can imagine (and then some) and plenty of peppy Christmas music.  Seriously, enough with the Christmas music.  But don't worry!  It is still genuinely a bad movie, and not just a tongue-in-cheek-winking-at-the-audience kind of bad movie.  It's bad in more of a there-is-a-former-professional-wrestler-in-the-lead-role-and-who-in-god's-name-is-proofreading-this-story kind of way.  Plus there are a lot of deaths.  And if none of that grabs you, how about some fantastic cameos?

We hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas (or at least a Tuesday where you hopefully don't have to work) and a lovely new year!  Info about our next screening is live now and we are looking forward to it.

How could we possibly better celebrate the winter season of skiing and peppermint schnapps than by showing Jack Frost, the 1997 one with a killer snowman, not the Michael Keaton one with a creepy snowman dad.  Common mistake.  If you like nonsense, punny violent snowmen, or barely passable animation then you are sure to like this one.  Hope to see you next year!

Even if you really, really love bad movies and alarm/confuse your friends by continuing to seek them out, you might have missed some of these Christmas miracle movies.  And of course, by miracles, we don't necessarily mean something to be celebrated -- more like something that could not ever, no way, no how, possibly have gotten made but somehow they did. 

Enjoy:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mollykateri/are-these-christmas-horror-movies-real-or-fake-421u

We love celebrating ridiculous, wastes of movies.  But why should movies have all the fun?  Try this excellently silly window to the worthless web.  Let us know some of your favorites.  So far, mine is the eelslap.  Amazing!

http://www.theuselessweb.com/